What if I told you that you WANT to be stuck?
"What? I WANT to be stuck?!"
"That is absurd! I hate this feeling of going nowhere, stuck in the quicksand... Every. Single. Day."
Unfortunately, It is true. Most often, you actually do want to stay stuck, right where you are...in your comfort zone. You prefer to remain in that unfulfilling place of no movement. Deep down our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves drive every decision we make and action we take or the exact opposite, the actions we don't take. Somewhere inside of you, there is a thought or belief telling you it’s better to be stuck than to move forward...to sit in the stuck. If you think about it, What if you took that step towards the unfamiliar? What would that even look like... or feel like?
Fear is the Driver
The fears that drive our thoughts, and actions, are most often shaped by past experiences. Whether we experienced a situation that created the fear or witnessed it happening to someone else, we took that experience and formed a fear that subconsciously drives much of what we do. Maybe... the reason we find ourselves stuck now, is our fear failure. I was in this very position, not all that long ago, when given the opportunity to open my own business. It didn't matter how much I reminded myself of all my experience, education and growing list of clients, I still found myself thinking, “But, what if I fail?”. I found myself frozen for a moment. I let the never ending "to do" list start to consume me. It began to feel... impossible. When would I ever find the time to launch my new business? The truth is, I could have made the time. I could have made it my priority, but instead, I allowed the fear to decide my priorities for me. I eventually recognized the old familiar pattern and knew exactly what I had to do. I needed to stop and identify what I feared the most...I was afraid to fail. I knew what I needed to do. I needed to launch. I gave myself a 48 hour deadline and when I reached the deadline, I closed my eyes tight and hit that publish button. "Was I scared?" Most definitely! "Did I have the urge to convince myself it wasn’t ready yet or make up any old excuse not to take that jump? " Absolutely. I had many reasons, aka excuses, come flooding in right before hitting that button. But I knew, I HAD to take that leap. If I didn’t, I’d still be in that same continuous cycle, miserable, wanting to change things but not taking any steps to do so out of fear that I will fail. Truth is, I didn’t fail! It is the best decision I could have made. It was so freeing and reminded me that no matter what decision I make, I’ve got me. If something isn’t going right, I make the adjustments and surge forward yet again. Had I allowed myself to excuse my way out of hitting that button, I would continue being stuck, proving to myself the very thing I feared! Staying in that place of “stuck” only continues to feed those thoughts that are designed to keep us “safe” but instead plant us in a continuous cycle of mundane misery.
You Take the Wheel & I Will Ride Shotgun
Edit ImageI can’t take all of the credit, my husband helped me realize the place I was in. He triggered my “just do it” thought process. This is similar to what a Mindset Coach does for their clients. Often times it takes someone outside of ourselves to support, boost or simply know the right question to ask to get us out of a particular situation, place or state of mind. Someone not only to ask the right questions but to also hold us accountable once we do. For me to be accountable, I told my husband my deadline. This served two purposes, it held me accountable just by speaking it into existence and he followed up with me to see how I was progressing, which gave me the push I needed. So, I encourage you to take the first step towards reaching that goal. Don’t hold yourself back out of fear. Trust your abilities and get moving!
Jane Nady
P.S. Taking that first step can be hard, so if you find you are still hesitant, call me. The first coaching session is complimentary. We can talk through where you are and where you want to be. We will identify where you need to start and what it will take to get you moving towards your goal . Your first session may be enough to get you started or you may find you could use the support throughout the journey. Either way, stop sitting in the stuck, take the first step towards fulfilling your goal, feeling more motivated and begin creating a future you look forward to living.