Written By: Jane Nady, MCPC
Do you find yourself questioning what life is all about or the purpose of our time here? Do you feel stuck in the same routine day in and day out, wondering if this is really all life was meant to be? Maybe you feel trapped in a life that wasn’t all you imagined it to be or like you are wandering through life just trying to survive every day. If any of this resonates with you, then this blog is for you.
Too often, we find ourselves drifting through life, trying to survive what comes our way or mindlessly moving from task to task, leaving us unfulfilled and pondering the purpose of it all at the end of the day. Well, this may come as a surprise, but it doesn’t have to be this way. No, really…it’s true!
Most of us go through the motions or fall into routines that make it easier to survive each day. We believe we are meant to just survive what life throws our way. But the truth is, we aren’t meant to let life happen to us but rather to make life happen for us. Instead of merely dealing with things as they come, we are meant to create opportunities to build the life we want. It is on us to build the life we want, which doesn’t involve waiting on the sidelines hoping it magically falls in front of us. We must be willing to pave the path we want to take, build a perspective of growth and opportunity, and take intentional action when needed. The life we most want to live will not just happen by sitting by and waiting.
We often fall into automatic narratives that are difficult to recognize on our own. When we reach this point, it takes someone outside of ourselves to help identify our own saboteurs. This is where seeking support from a coach or person of support, becomes important. However, we often stop ourselves from seeking that support. How do we begin this process?
You must start by understanding the narrative, or excuses, we use to stop ourselves from moving forward and growing. Language is powerful. It drives everything we do. Becoming aware of the narratives that play in the background of your mind each day is vital. These narratives drive what we do, what we say, and the actions we take, or don’t take, in response to everything that happens throughout each day.
Below are some commonly used phrases that act like emotional roadblocks keeping us stuck in the life we are currently living. Recognizing these phrases is the first step toward breaking free and creating the life you desire:
1. "I've Made It This Far Without Help"
You've navigated challenges and built resilience. That's fantastic! But consider this: wouldn't reaching your goals be easier with a supportive coach on your side? Seeking support isn't a sign of weakness – it's a sign of self-awareness and a desire to grow. Imagine an athlete refusing a coach because they've gotten this far on their own. Reaching your full potential often requires a supportive team, even for the strongest individuals. A coach is an excellent person to have on your team to help you reach a level of success you have yet to imagine.
2. "It's Not That Bad Compared to Others"
Social comparison is a thief of joy. Everyone's journey is unique, and minimizing your struggles because someone else has it "worse" doesn't make them disappear. Your feelings are valid and minimizing them only delays addressing the root of the problem. You do not need to continue punishing yourself just because it doesn’t seem as bad as someone else’s life experience. Everyone deserves support and to feel happy and fulfilled, including YOU.
3. "I Don't Have 'Real' Trauma"
Trauma comes in many forms, big and small. It's the impact on us, not the event itself, that matters. Sometimes we can’t see the impact from the outside looking in. Even seemingly insignificant experiences can leave lasting scars. Ignoring past hurts only hinders your ability to move forward. Do not underestimate the impact of your experiences. They do affect our present and your experiences do matter. Sometimes trauma takes place slowly and over time. It is in the words people use, the tone used, or in little ways people invalidate, diminish or whittle away at our self-confidence or self-worth. Trauma does not only occur in loud, immediate and catastrophic events, it can also occur over time and in quiet, more subtle methods. Trauma does not discriminate. It can happen to anyone of any race, color, culture, religion, or socioeconomic status.
4. "My Life Isn't That Bad"
Good enough" shouldn't be your goal. You deserve to thrive, not just survive. Are there areas in your life you'd like to see more growth? What sparks joy and fills you with a sense of purpose? Seeking support isn't about fixing something "wrong" – it's about unlocking your best self and creating a life that aligns with your values. It is about unleashing your full potential to reach levels of success you have yet to imagine for yourself. Don’t be afraid to discover your true passion and live each day fulfilled and happy. We often think it is a fear of failure that stops us from reaching new heights, but really it is a fear of success or fear of the unknown that stops us in our tracks. We often stop ourselves because we don’t know what it would be like to live as that version of ourselves at a new level of success.
5. "I Don't a Mental Health Diagnosis” or “I Don’t Need a Diagnosis or Medication"
You do not need a diagnosis to seek support, especially with Imperfect Pathways. There are a variety of supports that are designed to help every day people with every day issues. Life has challenges and regardless of who we are, we will all experience times of struggle or challenge. Seeking support is best option during these times. Getting support isn't about labels. It's about feeling better. Many people benefit from support systems and guidance regardless of a diagnosis. There are various approaches to self-improvement, and finding the right one empowers you to take control of your well-being.
By identifying and challenging these narratives, you can begin to unlock new possibilities and move toward a more fulfilling life. Remember, seeking support is not a sign of weakness but a step toward growth and empowerment.
Don’t allow yourself to stop you from reaching out. Below are a few phrases people will use to stop from taking time for themselves to grow and accept new opportunities:
"I can't afford support."
There are a variety of options available. Group sessions, online resources, and payment plans, and more can offer affordable ways to get the help you need. Do not feed yourself this excuse before you have taken the step to at least go in and see what is offered and the options available to help you obtain the support you need. You are worth investing in. Your self worth and peace are priceless.
A good place to start would be at Imperfect Pathways. We offer a free consultation to every new client to get a deeper understanding of what we offer, how we can make a difference in your life and if we are not the right place for you, we offer referrals to many of our wellness partners. We can help you find one that fits your needs financially, personally, and logistically. We are not going to leave you out there searching alone.
"I'm too busy."
Self-care isn't selfish, it's essential. Investing time in your well-being actually increases your productivity and resilience. Taking time to reflect and truly process what goes on in your every day life sets us up for levels of success in a multitude of ways. It helps us understand ourselves and others, resulting in healthier relationships. Taking time to reflect with a coach helps us learn how to better communicate our feelings, respond to things that happen around us and helps us make more effective decisions resulting in better results in all aspects of our lives. Our time is precious so investing a little in you is the best investment you will ever make.
Imperfect Pathways offers both in-person and virtual sessions at a variety of times to help you fit your busy schedule. We work with you to schedule appointments to help navigate other obligations and create balance in your schedule.
"What will people think?”
This fear often stems from societal expectations. However, prioritizing your well-being is not a sign of weakness – it's a sign of strength and self-love. Some of the world’s leaders, best athletes, and biggest stars have whole teams surrounding them to support them in a variety of ways and there is no reason you shouldn’t have at least one person in your corner helping you reach the levels of success you want to reach in any area of life. You wouldn’t expect a star in any capacity to have reached the level they have reached without others to help guide and support them along the way. It is no different for you.
Imperfect Pathways wants to be that partner. We have helped so many build the life they love and unlock the ability to reach heights they had never imagined for themselves, and we want to provide you with the same opportunity by offering a free initial consultation. We offer both in-person or virtual sessions for your convenience.
Visit www.imperfectpathways.com and book your free consult today to begin building a life you love.
